My Friend

This is like the very first time in my life I feel that I am really happy I feel safe.. I feel that there could be that one friend who could really care for you no matter what who could be there for you no matter where you are who could be anything you wish for.. that friend who is deep.. but still lets you in.. he let you go inside deep enough to be permanent inside a friend who is real.. a friend who we use to argue like all the time a friend who I could be me and only me he sees me AS ME..no one else when you were gone I felt like something was missing something that noone could ever fill it.. you will always be my very best friend who touched my heart like no one else didIt is just no words will be able to express how I really feel thank you for being always here for me W EYAAAAAAAAK tefakr lw sanya teb3ed HA2TELAAAAAAAAAAAAAK SA3THA :D if you think this is a fake alarm WELL DEAR THINK AGAIN :@ :D

Shadows from the past

once upon a time .. you were my everything you were my best friend.. you were my boyfriend you were my dad you were my brother you were literally my everything.. and still you kept hurting me in every single way.. and I used to keep silent and cry each and every day because of you I used to cry myself to sleep each and every night and you never knew I used to care so much that I was afraid if you knew that,you would get hurt.. I used to endure you for a very long time I used to love you from my heart I used to try to do my best to always keep you happy I used to be very naive .. I used to be that perfect girl for you who would do almost anything for her man but now all of that is gone... .... nothing remains the same, you are not the same.. me is not the same.. you made me change you made me grow up you made me a whole new girl you broke me into a very small pieces you made me not trust any other man you made me someone new.. someone different for a very long time I was not able to feel I was not able to think I was not able to laugh I was not able to cry I was not able to breathe you gave me everything and you made me give it away!! you made me push you away you made me end our relationship you made me say goodbye for a very long time I kept holding my hand from writing I did not want anyone to know that I used to suffer or know how I really feel but here I am SCREW anyone who thinks of me as a weak little girl being strong means confess everything you feel and everything you wanna say so here I am saying it out loud without being ashamed of it I was broken.. I was sad.. I was mad.. and yea I missed you and of course I used to love you I used to care what people would think of me if i said that but here I am not caring if everyone knew this now not caring if they would know who you really are not caring if you saw this now not caring how you really feel not caring about anything that concerns you cause for me NOW I know who you really are you were never the one and you will never be from now on things are gonna be so different from now on you have no place left in my heart from now on you are just that memory that I wanna forget

My Little Angel

Today I had the chance to know the best girl ever..
when I look into her eyes I see an angel..
she is so pure..so cute and her smile ohh my god
SHE HAS THE BEST SMILE EVER <3
she used to be full of hope..
now I dunno her smile is not the same.. there is something behind it..
something that says alot of things..
she is in pain but she tries so hard to hide it with her gorgeous smile
may be she is so clever that she convinced everyone that she is happy and smiling
but i know exactly what she is going through..
I know exactly how she feels
and I know for sure that this feeling will go away soon enough
she reminds me of myself and that she must have been through alot
BUT she will NEVER LOSE HOPE..I will make sure of that..that's gonna be my job I am gonna always keep you full of hope no matter what
I wanna tell you something my little angel
I will always be here
I will always be by your side
no matter what happens u will always be my little sister my beloved one
P.S. I adore you rabbena ye5alliky leya <3

Dear Myself..SORRY!!

I am not so proud of what I did to you
sorry myself for not taking care of you
sorry for not believing peoples' lies
sorry for letting other people play with your feelings
sorry for not listening to what my mind said
sorry for acting too late
sorry for doing what I did
sorry for knowing that what I did would hurt you and I still did it
sorry for pretending that I am okay while I wasn't
sorry for not putting you ahead of anything
sorry for not making you a priority
sorry for having to learn it the hard way
sorry for making you go through all that
sorry for letting you down
sorry for not promising you earlier but now

I promise you that I'll take a good care of you
I promise you this that no matter what YOU ARE AT THE TOP OF ANYTHING
I promise you I will listen to mind more
I promise you I will not hurt you and definitely will not let anyone does
I promise you that from now on I will only care for what is the best for you

I know sorry isn't enough..

once upon a time a friend told me not to focus on the negative thoughts.. and always think positively..
how could i think now positively?
how could i even think of anything?
why everything is falling apart?
why when i found that one real friend everything gets complicated
why i always make the people i care for mad at me
why i am me
why i do nothing except hurting those who are close to me..
why everything nice and good in my life i can't enjoy..
why my everything is going away..
why i am feeling that my life is not worth living now..
why i am crying ..
why i feel helpless..
why i can do nothing..
why i am such a stupid girl..
why i do this..
why i hate myself so much..
why i keep wishing that something happens and cause my death..
why i wish i was dead now..
why i don't want anything now except for one thing..
may be i am the worst person that u have ever known
but i remember that once u told me i am an angle..i told u i am not..but here life proved that i am not..
it's just i wish if u can forgive me..i wish we can get back like we used to be..
i miss those days..those days where everything was fine..
when all our problems disappeared the moment we talk..
when we waited to tell each other everything..
when i was someone who you can really depend on..
i know that you may not read this words..
i know that u may don't wanna talk ever again with me..
all i ask for is just a chance to do my best.. prove that i'm that person who you can depend on..
that person who u know very well..
we all do mistakes..mine was the worst..but also i know that deep down you still care..even if you said you don't.i can't believe it..i can't convince myself of it..although each time i remember it i cry and can't stop crying...
please just give me another chance..don't let our good memories become a memory..
it's just i know sorry isn't enough..

DID YOU KNOW?!!

Did you know that it is hard to find someone who you can really trust?
Did you know that I'm very happy that we are that close ?
Did you know how much I care for you ?
Did you know how much I ADORE YOU ?

Did you know that you are the best thing that happened to me in a very long time ?
Did you know that I won't allow anything to keep us apart ?
Did you know that you existence in my life kept me going ?
Did you know that I'm nothing without you ?
Did you know that I'm flying up high cause I'm writing this to you ?

Did you know that you are THE TRUE FRIEND that I wished for ?
Did you know that you are THAT FRIEND who stand by my side when others kept watching ?
Did you know that it doesn't matter how much I thank you cause it will always be less than enough ?
Did you know that it doesn't matter how much I say cause it will never be enough to describe the great influence you made in my life ?

Did you know that you give me hope when I'm hopeless ?
Did you know that you give me strength when I'm weak ?
Did you know that I'm deeply sorry for every second I made you sad ?
Did you know that I'm deeply sorry for every moment I tried to pretend that I'm okay and tried to lie to you ?
Did you know that that pretending will never happen again ?
Did you know that at last I found someone who I can really relay on,someone who I can really depend on ?

Did you know that I'm glad that you are that close to me ?
Did you know that I thank ALLAH everyday for having such a friend LIKE YOU.. ?
Did you know that nothing else matters in the whole world beside family,love and you my friend :)) ?

TRUE FRIEND

once upon a time i had this wonderful friend
a friend that anyone would dream about..
this friend never let me down..
always there for me even when i don't ask
always knows what is in my mind
trying to teach me everything about life
trying to do the best thing to make sure that i am happy
a friend who really cares..
then suddenly something happened
dunno what that thing is..
but something affected our friendship
something seems to be big..
i tried to search for that thing but i failed
i tried to fix it although i dunno what is it..but i failed in that too..
and each time i try to fix it i make it worse
so i tried to be quiet for awhile but things are going worse
and i am out of ideas
dunno what to do
dunno what to say
the only thing i know for sure is that i don't wanna lose that friend
that friend means the world to me..
and still i dunno how to prove that
i'm trying may be i am not trying that hard or my ways are not right..i dunno
it's just that friend is now apart of my life and i can't imagine my life without that friend
i hope i can tell that friend every single word i said in here and a bit little more