tired

i'm very tired
tired from everything
why it is getting more complicated than before?
why everything around me is not going well?
is that life?
is it always like that?
only bad things happen?
lots and lots of stuff are going
don't know what to do anymore
i feel like everything is collapsing
never felt so hopeless like i do now
i have this feeling that something really bad will happen
something i don't know what it is..
very very afraid
very very tired
and very very depressed
scared of tomorrow
lost in everything
i have this feeling that something is not right
something is missing
i don't know what is wrong.. but feel that there is something
i wanna cry alot
but same time i don't wanna cry
there is something holding me
something big..
i hate life
i hate losing hope
but same time i lie when i say that there is hope
i lied to my friend when i convinced her that there is hope and that everything will be ok
the same time i am sure that nothing will be ok
everything is getting worse
nothing is getting better
everything is getting more complicated than before
i wish things were better
hope it is just bad days
but does hope really exist?
is it really there?
or is it just an illusion?
HOPE is a great word but it exist no more
hope is the main thing that keeps us alive
will we survive after it's loss?
will i survive?
can i do it?
will i be ok?
many and many questions
many and many things happen
lots and lots of stuff
things that don't have meanings
things that have meanings
does it matter?
my thoughts are not arranged
many and many things are going in my head
i am tired
i hate life
i can't stand it any more
i guess i lost hope
i don't want any one to be angry with me
i can't stand annoying anyone
but i do that with my close friends
and i don't mean that
being annoyed changes my way of treating people
and they get annoyed from me
and i get more annoyed cause i annoy people
i just wish for lots of things now
i'm tired from wishes
can you imagine that?
being tired from wishes..
so hard i know
so annoying..
but the truth hurts sometimes
yes it does..
wishes and hopes are somethings that hurt these days..
so you'd better stop wishing and stop believing in hope
it's better that way..